DE #12: Conversations
Marlon Brando was at a police station in Poland where he encountered Hello Kitty. 'I got the good lord on my side!' he exclaimed.
'I can not blame you! When will everyone just give me what I need just because I'm a nice person?' asked Kitty. 'Sollen wir nicht lieber ein anderes Gesprächsthema wählen?' (Shouldn't we talk about something else?') replied Mr Brando.
'Fuck off, I can't write and draw at the same time' thought Kitty to herself, when together they suddenly yelled 'Dove soon le mie cigarette?!' (Where are my cigarettes!). Then all of the kangaroos died, suddenly.
// // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // //
Space Biatch met Bill Clinton in the zoo, at the beginning of the thing, and immediately asked 'Why I always have to wait for ya?'. The seemingly distracted former president muttered 'The life of the wife is ended by the knife', to which the startled Space Biatch exclaimed 'Why you think like that?!'
'I have no clue!' said Bill.
'I wonder why he never asks me out' thought Space Biatch to herself.
'Aaahhhh. Sooo good. Finally I can eat my cake' mused Mr Clinton.
And what happened next?
Nothing but trouble…
// // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // //
Beethoven and Miley Cyrus met at the Finanzamt. Ludwig exclaimed 'Hurra Hurra, die Schule brennt. Ich fühle mich so frrrei!' (Hurra hurra the school is burning! I feel so frrrree!) Miss Cyrus said 'I'll give you $500 if you crawl down the street like a dog. Where are you going to?!' 'Not if I sneak up from behind!!!' replied the maestro and the twerker thought to herself 'Ich brauche es wenn wir Maschine wollen!' (I need it if we want to machine![?]) 'Free Willie!' they ejaculated together, then appeared to kill themselves, but in the end it turns out they are competing at 'Lumber Games' in Canada.
// // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // //
Alexander the Great was in the bar where he met that gorgeous smile I saw in the lift two days ago. I was too shy to talk to her so I don't know her name. [We'll call her smiley] His opening line was 'let's have dirty sex now!' causing Smiley to coyishly remark 'Damn, it's hot in here! Why are you looking at me like that?'
'I think I lost consciousness…' muttered Alex and Smiley thought to herself 'That dirty bastard!'. Together they shouted 'Wir sollten nie eine Familie gründen!' (We should never start a family!) as the animals escaped from the zoos and took over the world.
// // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // //
Lolita met Professor Pussy Inspector in the garden next to the grill, 'Zur blauen Stunde (abend dämmerung)' (The blue hour (evening dusk)).
'I am so up for this!' she said.
'Let's get down on it!' he said.
'Can you touch me more down?' She asked.
'Whoop Whoop!' he replied.
'I need a beer' she thought, while he mused 'in that shiiiit we trust!'
They kissed each other and lived happily ever after.
// // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // //
Hugh Jackman met Chuck D at an orgy and said 'I want salvation!' The rapper said 'We seem to be in serious trouble. Any other requests?' 'There is no doubt' replied Wolverine as Chuck thought 'I hate games'.
'Fuck the world!' they shouted together.
That is the reason I never say hello to anybody. Fuck!
// // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // //
Dumbo the Elephant met Ren (from Ren and Stimpy) in the early afternoon by the bins behind McDonald's. 'Ich nehme zwei, und du?' (I'll take 2, and you?) said the elephant. 'Einen Martini' said the chihuahua. 'So who did you vote for?' asked the pachyderm, to which the canine replied 'Stop asking questions, ok!' They both thought 'Why not'. Was soll schon passiert sein? Das gute alte Rein-Raus-Spiel fing an! (the good old in-and-out-game started!)
// // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // //
George Michael met me in Imren (kebab shop) and said 'Woah I'd LOVE me some of that!' I said 'No flowers. I can't see any flowers. What a horrible place… but why not baseball?' 'Can you give me an ox?' said george. I thought to myself 'I still have to buy butter and tomatoes' then we shouted 'Oh Papa' together and both ran until we died.
// // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // //
The Queen of England (the Lizard one) met Manuel, a mexican immigrant in Belarus who is very cold and miserable, on the cruiseship on New Year's Eve 2525. Liz said 'I can believe nothing that you say' to Manuel, who replied 'Hell No!' 'When did you get here, by the way?' asked the Queen. 'Ach du Grüne Neune!' (Oh my God!) replied the Mexican. 'People are strange' thought Liz. 'I want to stick my finger in your eyes!' thought Manuel. Then they went to Shangl and complained about the beer which they thought was too thin. But after drinking up two bottles of Russian Standard they donated €500.
// // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // //
Elizabeth (the Queen) and Spongebob met 'auf Wolke 7' (on cloud 9) right after they both crashed into the neighbour's flat. 'Puh, das stinkt!' exclaimed Liz, to which Spongebob replied 'Go fuck yourself! Die you pig!' 'Why did you say that, huh?!' asked she. 'Yes! As deep as possible!' replied he. 'Maybe they wont notice it…' she mused as he thought 'does he really need it like that?', then pulled down his pants and screamed 'Call me sugar, baby!'
